My Mother's Day Prayer

Well Mothers Day is fast approaching and my family keeps asking me what I want for the holy occasion of celebrating my motherhood.

I have never been fond of Mothers Day. I know. It's probably odd for a mother to say that. But it's true.

I have always felt that I don't need to be recognized for the one role in my life that I cherish above all others. (Other than marriage.) Oh, it's nice to be pampered or doted on. But not necessary.

I love my children. They love me. They show their appreciation to me in small ways all the time. Tayler thanks me for cooking dinner and genuinely thinks I'm cool! Kaley puts little messages on my cell phone banner. Brendan...well, he once in a great while tells me I'm the best mom ever:)

I love those small things thousands of times more than one grand gift a year.

But this year, I am feeling different. I am feeling the pressure of wanting something like I've never wanted it before. The want has been so emotionally draining some days that I feel physically tapped out as well. I plead with God on a daily basis to provide it...then ask Him for patience, strength and encouragement if it doesn't come.

That one thing?

AN EXIT LETTER!

I want to know that our adoption is progressing and not at the stand still, waiting for a presidential waiver signature. I want to know that our paperwork is moving through the Haitian adoption process and that we have made some ground over these past 6 months. I want to know that my boys are a little closer to home....

But weeks and weeks continue to pass (and our very awesome coordinator patiently and gently puts up with my annoying weekly text messages) and there is no word of a signature. No movement. No progress. Just stuck.

So if I have a Mother's Day Wish this year its just to get a signature on that paper that moves us on to the next phase of our adoption. If you are reading this, and you are a praying person, would you please add us to your prayers. I would love to be able to know this Mother's Day that our boys are a little closer to home and that others are helping us pray them home.

Thanks friends and family!
God Bless,
Terry

Victorious

Wow. Things in this adoption process are going slow. No news of any progress...nothing on exiting the IBESR in Haiti. Things seem to have come to a near stand still.

There are some days when I want to (and do!) cry, scream at God and cry some more. Days when I get emails saying that one of our little boys is significantly underweight and has to be given a nutritional suppliment to help him gain weight. And then I cry all over again...

Days when I don't think that I can bear a moment longer without my little boys, that I am helpless, hopeless and alone.

Then I have days like today when God kind of nudges me (slaps me upside the head actually!) out of my funk.

Hey! You! Don't you know I'm the God of this universe and I am in control? Don't you know that I know every hair on your head, your past, present and future? I know your ups, downs, highs, lows and everything in between... And don't you know I'm sufficient and enough for you? Don't you know that I hold your very life in my right hand? Don't you know that I love your children, biological and adopted, more than even you as a mother, can fathom? Don't you know that I am victorious? That in me YOU are victorious?

What? I am victorious? How can this be? My children aren't home? They are in an orphanage in a third world country that moves at the speed of sloth???

Yes. I too am victorious.

God didn't promise that this adoption (or anything else for that matter) was going to be easy. He actually pretty much guarantees that most of life is going to be challenging, but today as I journaled and prayed, turning my life, children and adoption situation over to Him, I realized that I am victorious! I am victorious because I continually am placing my trust in my faithful God. I am victorious because I have a God that does not leave me or foresake me when I cry or scream to Him. He gently waits for me to gather myself and then He reaffirms to me that I am walking the path He has placed before me. He uses other families and friends to encourage and strengthen me to continue my forward fight in this adoption journey.

I am victorious because I belong to a God who will bring beauty from all the pain I endure now. I rejoice in the fact that He is never failing, even when all else falls around me. I am victorious today, not because of myself or even my desire to follow God's will for my life, but because God is faithful and true to me.

Praise to our mighty God and King!

Sending my love to you all, and especially to two little boys in Haiti,

Terry

Reflections on the November Trip & What's Next

Wow! I have been really slack on keeping this blog updated, but here is whats up with all that's been going on and what is coming up!

On November 21, 2012, Daniel and I (and Tayler got to come along too) had an appointment at the embassy in Haiti to do with our I600 approval. For those who are unfamiliar with the adoption process, an I600 is the request to make an orphan a member of your immediate family. It is now January and we still have not heard back on the approval.

But...it's Haiti. It's government. It's slow. That's how it goes and we are taking each day at a time. I am learning in a whole new way what it means to wait on the LORD!

The boys got to stay with us at our guest house the night before the appointment and what a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful night that was. To have them close with us, to have dinner together, to play with toys...I relive that day over and over in my head even two months later. I was so exhausted...and so happy...

Our little 8 year old (S) bonded with Tayler and I watched brotherly love form before my very eyes.

I watched our little 3 year old (M) being stubborn, not wanting Mama to put him down, and shake his head when Papa tried to hold him! No! No, Papa!

I laugh when I remember how (M), napping in my arms in the embassy, peed all over my skirt!

I still weep when I remember (S) sobbing because he couldn't come with us when we finally had to leave...and I have struggled emotionally ever since.

But Daniel spoke words of wisdom to me, telling me I must pray to God for what His will is in the adoption, not what I want done on my time, in my way...a bit selfish, huh? Of course he is right, so I try to pray that God keeps me strong, teaches me all I need to know, prepares my heart perfectly for when the boys do finally come home. I know God will make this journey beautiful and good, with much celebration and joy in the end. I hold on to that, cling to it actually, when I cry and don't think I can bear it any longer. God is good, always. He proves it to me over and over again, even when the pain is deep, real and overwhelming...He reminds me Christ loved me enough to die for my adoption, I can persevere through ours...

But as for progress, things are advancing: Monday, Jan. 28th, the surviving birth parents have an appointment/interview that the orphanage directors have been preparing them for. At this appointment, they will relinquish their parental rights. Also, 2 of the 12 families that were grandfathered into the IBESR under the 'old' Haitian adoption laws, have exited and are awaiting court dates. This is exciting news! I pray and wait anxiously every day that we will get our call and exit information.

Many people have been praying for us and I want to thank you! We couldn't keep moving forward without those who support us either prayerfully and financially. You all know who you are and let me add, I LOVE YOU ALL! Keep praying for us, for strength and for Gods perfect will to be done.

Blessings and love from the village,
Terry

November is Adoption Awareness Month...oh and some other cool things!

Yes, it's that time of the year again...Adoption Awareness Month! Are you hosting an Orphan Sunday gathering? Thinking of sponsoring a child? Contemplating adopting? Maybe foster care? There are so many ways to be involved in the lives of orphans, make a change for them and the world...put a dent in that epidemic number of 147 million orphans! But mostly, you will be the hands and feet of Christ!

"Religion that is pure and genuine, acceptable to God is this, to care for the widow and orphan in their distress and to keep ones self undefiled from the world." James 1:27

Get involved! Many families, ours included, need help with adoption! Or check out Worldvision or Compassion International to sponsor children....

Ok, plug is over! Now to business:)

So excited to announce that we are beginning the legal process of our adoption in Haiti! Our dossier has entered the IBESR in Haiti and is awaiting Presidential Dispensation. This could take awhile, possibly up to 9 months, but we will pray for much faster! After that our paperwork moves into the court system and we get a court date! Hopefully soon after that we will be making arrangements to bring the boys home!!!

On November 21, we have an appointment to file our I600 petition to request an orphan as an immediate member of our family! Yay! We get to travel to Haiti for this appointment and the great thing is we get to spend time with our boys! The doubly great thing is Tayler gets to go with us and spend time with his little brothers!

I get the privilege of traveling to Haiti November 2 (today!) for 8 days with a team from our church, Shadow Mountain Church. We will be ministering to the needs of the people in a smaller town called Danda. Then after coming home on the 10th, I get to fly out again a week later back to Haiti for our adoption and the appointment...I literally will be Haitian for half the month of November! I'm going to need December off to recoup from all the flying!

On a more serious note:

Adoption is a long process, tiring and can be emotionally draining. I have read comments on Facebook or blogs where people say, "I'd love to adopt, but it is expensive and the process is too long." All I can say to encourage those people is that if God calls you to it, He will pull you through it. Had we not responded to the call God put upon us to adopt, Daniel and I would never had seen Him work in ways that we've never experienced before! If you want to see God work, do nothing short of miraculous, then do what He is calling you to do...whatever it may be! Nothing with build your trust in the LORD faster than taking a risky step of faith...

God bless to all our prayer warriors and supporters! Check out our coffee shop link on this blog if you are looking for ways to support us!

In Christ,
Terry

Two Is Not a Crowd...

Some exciting, and unexpected news!

Upon receiving our uscis approval on Monday, some amazing things have happened! I noticed that on our approval, the uscis approved us to bring home 2 male children, and it got me thinking about another boy that we met when we were in Haiti. He was small, a little withdrawn and had suffered from what appeared to be possible malnutrition in his infant years. I estimate him to be about 8 years old now.

I immediately began talking to Daniel about it. What if God wants us to really bring home two? Could we say no to God? Those of you who know me and Daniel, know that we try not to ignore the Lord when we hear his calling.

I spent two days in hefty prayer, turning things over to God, asking to just remain in His will for us and the adoption and specifically asking to not be bitter if Gods answer was no. I knew what I wanted, but I want Gods will more and left the final decision up to Daniel.

Daniel is a hard facts person, so after inquiring into additional cost and how we were going to house an extra child, he told our daughter, Kaley, "God wants us to bring two home. How can we say no?"

So two days later, we have decided to expand our family a little bit more. We aren't bringing home just our one little guy, but two!

I had had a feeling we weren't done adopting, but never would have guessed it would be before we even completed our first!

So prayers are greatly appreciated as we take on a little more load, but we are ecstatic God has called us upon this great adventure of adopting. I have already emailed our family coordinator and hope to have our new additions paperwork soon.

Much love to all our supporters and prayer warriors.

God bless,
Terry

Oh Happy Days!

I have not posted as often as earlier in our adoption process, mainly because the last three months have been fraught with frustration for us. We have been dealing with a lot of miscommunication and misunderstandings as we have tried to receive approval for our fingerprinting and background checks.

I didn't want to bog people down with the stress and amount of down-heartedness that we have been feeling. ( although a few of you have been faithful and have walked beside us during this time and we thank you and love you!) We have suffered for three months trying to put the finishing touches on our dossier. Well, I can finally say the finish line is in sight....literally. It is highly possible that by this Friday our dossier will be making its exit from America and arriving in Haiti! ( I won't say 100 percent because nothing is in this adoption process, but we have forward movement! Always better than backwards!!!)

After our struggles and frustrations trying to acquire our final approval it is so exciting to again feel some process being made.

I am hoping the next time I get around to updating our process I can affirm court dates and even more forward process.

I want to finish by giving credit where credit is due. I have cried, stressed, sobbed and cried some more during these trying months. God has been our only strength. Christ our rock. As I've been recently reading through the New Testament, I am impacted by the strength of Paul, who admits and preaches gladly while being in chains for Christ. The trial and persecution he faced far surpasses all I have endured during our adoption process. And I am called, as Paul was, to find joy in my trials. I am blessed to be able to lean fully into the word and love of the Lord during our journey. In no way has this adoption been easy, but we do call it pure joy to be able to follow the calling God has asked of me and Daniel. I have no doubt, complete and utter faith that He will do all things for His glory and bring good to those who love Him. He will bring our son home...

Prayers, as always, are so deeply welcomed and appreciated.
Love and blessings to all,
Terry

Waiting and Waiting...a Brief Update

I have not posted in awhile, but wanted to send out a thank you to those who donated to our Hand in Hand Matching Grant. We actually beat the amount!!! Praise God and thanks again for helping us with our adoption:)

On another note, some changes are going on in Haiti and it has brought the process to a slow crawl. I believe that the changes are good and will be very beneficial to children that are being adopted from Haiti, but for those of us already in process, well, we are stuck waiting for the changes to go into effect.

Haiti is becoming Hague Accredited, which means that they will follow different guidelines for allowing children to be adopted from their country. This is good and helps police potentially fraudulent adoptions. Also, all adoptions agencies must be approved by Haiti if they want to do adoptions from the country. No independent adoptions are allowed anymore.

If you are interested in learning more about the process, check out the America World website for information on the Haiti adoption changes.

So, in a nutshell, we are waiting on changes to be made before we can progress much further. I am in turmoil on a daily basis, knowing that the changes are beneficial, but heart broken for our little guy to come home. I cry, feel discouraged at times and am sometimes fearful. But I trust and have faith in a mighty God who is good to those who love Him. I love my LORD and will continue to trust that He will help us complete all dossier changes, make the Haiti/Hague
changes progress smoothly and bring us completely through our journey with a joyful end. It's the waiting that, on occassion, brings me down.

Prayers are always appreciated, not just for us and our process, but for our son, who is still living in an orphanage, not knowing the completeness of a loving family.

God Bless,
Terry