Saturday, October 26, 2013

An Overdue Update

It has been a long 5 months since I've posted on the blog and I realize that many may be wondering what's up in our adoption journey. I apologize as life is insanely busy (aren't all our lives?) and throw an adoption in the middle of it! It just adds to the insanity to say the least!

Well, we are finally in the homestretch! We exited IBESR the end of June, passed court and entered MOI (Ministry of Interiors) in July. We exited MOI approximately 2 weeks ago.

The boys passports have been applied for and we are now awaiting copies of them. Next, the final appointment at Embassy. We do not have a definite timeframe still, but we are praying God works wonders and they are home by Christmas.

As I reflect over the last 2 years (I spent some time rereading some of my early blogs) I see how very tired I have become over this adoption adventure. Never in my wildest dreams did I think anything could be as exhausting as waiting for our two little ones to come home.

It's as if I'm constantly on edge. Waiting, waiting for some small snippet of news to come through. It's...exhausting.

But now that we near the end, it's becoming more intense! I stalk Facebook for any updates my family coordinator may put on there. I check my email constantly. It's like I live in two realities! The one where life proceeds as scheduled and the one where I know it's going to change dramatically when we get word to come get our boys.

I know that God has so much more in store for our family and I also know that it is only His strength that will carry us through. Now and after M and S are home. He has been ever present, ever faithful, ever comforting and encouraging. There are days when I'm tired, the wait feels heavy and I cry a lot. He keeps my feet moving forward. There is no way that we could have come this far alone. He has carried us, and quite literally, showed up when we didn't know how things were going to work.

God is good. Always.

My faith has been tested in big ways through the last 2 years. I am glad to say He has held on to me and we are coming to the end of a trying, but rewarding journey. I wouldn't change all the difficulties for anything. He refines us in fire, not the comforts of life.

This is short and sweet, but thanks to all who have continually prayed for us over the last two years. Please continue to pray for the homecoming because...it's coming and it's close!

God Bless and love to all,

Terry

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

What a 'Stuck' Life Looks Like

"Wait on the LORD;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the LORD!" Psalm 27:14

There has been a lot of buzz around the Both Ends Burning campaign and the Stuck documentary born from it. If you have any connection to the world of adoption, you have surely heard of these two movements by now.

I am here to give you a glimpse into the days of a real life, 'Stuck' family.

Early mornings begin with breakfast, showers, prep for work and school. As I sit at the kitchen table monitoring the kids school routine, I read my daily devotionals and Bible readings. Every verse that God speaks on the fatherless and abandoned pierces my heart as I think of my sons in Haiti. I see my 3 children go through their routine in safety and love and can't help wonder what M and S are doing in these moments of early morning life. Who is helping them get dressed? What do they eat for breakfast? Is S getting his nutritional supplement? But I move on....

As I drive to school each morning for work, I listen to Christian music blaring from my radio. I cling to messages in the music, seeking God's promises in the songs and lifting my voice in worship to Him as I prepare to teach for the day. I often wonder what my mornings are going to look like when M and S do get home and I have more stops and drops at daycare and/or school to make. Will they sing these songs with me from the backseat of the car? Will they have their noses pressed to the window, looking at their new and fascinating world? But I move on....

As I go through my day at school with my class, each spare moment (there are not many) that I find in the day, I'm checking my email or cell phone to see if any adoption updates, phone calls or posts have been made that apply to us and our adoption. Every scrap of news is something and I cling to it and view it as something, anything in this process of being 'Stuck.' Each word from our family coordinator is like gold to me, whether good news or no news, because it's SOMETHING! But I move on...

Dinners are usually easy fixes these days as we are busy with baseball, tumbling, music lessons and other things that our children preoccupy themselves with. (What would S like to do? Karate? M would probably love T ball...) The other night at dinner, Tayler brought up a family discussion question on prayer. During the discussion, I found myself excited, thinking about questions that we could ask M and S when they are home at the dinner table. Of course, language is going to be an issue, so I scolded myself again about getting on top of learning some Creole. But I move on...

Lately, Daniel has been getting anxious over the progress of the adoption. Anyone who knows Daniel, knows he is typically steadfast and leaves things to God's timing. But there is something about knowing his sons are growing up in a facility that has him more impatient than usual. But he moves on....

I have begun a plan of action to help the boys communicate and learn English when they get home. Labeling household items and other things with words, digital time and pictures, things that they will need to help them communicate with us. But I wait and move on to my next errand or chore...

This may sound gloomy and sad. And in many ways, it is. Some days my heart is so heavy. I've cried more in the last year and 7 months than ever in my life. But I know there is light at the end of this journey. Regardless of my timing and expectations, I will do as the Psalms instruct me. I will wait on the LORD. He shall strengthen my heart...and He does. Going through days like these I've written about, each and every day, would drag a person down into the pits of despair. God has been and is the One who renews our strength. There is nothing at this point that we can do to move our process along quicker but rely on our mighty God, the one who has called us to this journey to begin with.

Yes, there needs to be a faster way to 'unstick' children and get them placed with their families sooner than later. Yes, we are stuck and frustrated many days, but I trust my God brings beauty from ashes and I trust that He will continue to help us along the way.

One day my day to day routine will be unstuck, as well as our lives and the lives of our sons.

Thanks friends for your ongoing prayer and support.

Love from the Lacey village.

Terry

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

My Mother's Day Prayer

Well Mothers Day is fast approaching and my family keeps asking me what I want for the holy occasion of celebrating my motherhood.

I have never been fond of Mothers Day. I know. It's probably odd for a mother to say that. But it's true.

I have always felt that I don't need to be recognized for the one role in my life that I cherish above all others. (Other than marriage.) Oh, it's nice to be pampered or doted on. But not necessary.

I love my children. They love me. They show their appreciation to me in small ways all the time. Tayler thanks me for cooking dinner and genuinely thinks I'm cool! Kaley puts little messages on my cell phone banner. Brendan...well, he once in a great while tells me I'm the best mom ever:)

I love those small things thousands of times more than one grand gift a year.

But this year, I am feeling different. I am feeling the pressure of wanting something like I've never wanted it before. The want has been so emotionally draining some days that I feel physically tapped out as well. I plead with God on a daily basis to provide it...then ask Him for patience, strength and encouragement if it doesn't come.

That one thing?

AN EXIT LETTER!

I want to know that our adoption is progressing and not at the stand still, waiting for a presidential waiver signature. I want to know that our paperwork is moving through the Haitian adoption process and that we have made some ground over these past 6 months. I want to know that my boys are a little closer to home....

But weeks and weeks continue to pass (and our very awesome coordinator patiently and gently puts up with my annoying weekly text messages) and there is no word of a signature. No movement. No progress. Just stuck.

So if I have a Mother's Day Wish this year its just to get a signature on that paper that moves us on to the next phase of our adoption. If you are reading this, and you are a praying person, would you please add us to your prayers. I would love to be able to know this Mother's Day that our boys are a little closer to home and that others are helping us pray them home.

Thanks friends and family!
God Bless,
Terry

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Victorious

Wow. Things in this adoption process are going slow. No news of any progress...nothing on exiting the IBESR in Haiti. Things seem to have come to a near stand still.

There are some days when I want to (and do!) cry, scream at God and cry some more. Days when I get emails saying that one of our little boys is significantly underweight and has to be given a nutritional suppliment to help him gain weight. And then I cry all over again...

Days when I don't think that I can bear a moment longer without my little boys, that I am helpless, hopeless and alone.

Then I have days like today when God kind of nudges me (slaps me upside the head actually!) out of my funk.

Hey! You! Don't you know I'm the God of this universe and I am in control? Don't you know that I know every hair on your head, your past, present and future? I know your ups, downs, highs, lows and everything in between... And don't you know I'm sufficient and enough for you? Don't you know that I hold your very life in my right hand? Don't you know that I love your children, biological and adopted, more than even you as a mother, can fathom? Don't you know that I am victorious? That in me YOU are victorious?

What? I am victorious? How can this be? My children aren't home? They are in an orphanage in a third world country that moves at the speed of sloth???

Yes. I too am victorious.

God didn't promise that this adoption (or anything else for that matter) was going to be easy. He actually pretty much guarantees that most of life is going to be challenging, but today as I journaled and prayed, turning my life, children and adoption situation over to Him, I realized that I am victorious! I am victorious because I continually am placing my trust in my faithful God. I am victorious because I have a God that does not leave me or foresake me when I cry or scream to Him. He gently waits for me to gather myself and then He reaffirms to me that I am walking the path He has placed before me. He uses other families and friends to encourage and strengthen me to continue my forward fight in this adoption journey.

I am victorious because I belong to a God who will bring beauty from all the pain I endure now. I rejoice in the fact that He is never failing, even when all else falls around me. I am victorious today, not because of myself or even my desire to follow God's will for my life, but because God is faithful and true to me.

Praise to our mighty God and King!

Sending my love to you all, and especially to two little boys in Haiti,


Terry

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Reflections on the November Trip & What's Next

Wow! I have been really slack on keeping this blog updated, but here is whats up with all that's been going on and what is coming up!

On November 21, 2012, Daniel and I (and Tayler got to come along too) had an appointment at the embassy in Haiti to do with our I600 approval. For those who are unfamiliar with the adoption process, an I600 is the request to make an orphan a member of your immediate family. It is now January and we still have not heard back on the approval.

But...it's Haiti. It's government. It's slow. That's how it goes and we are taking each day at a time. I am learning in a whole new way what it means to wait on the LORD!

The boys got to stay with us at our guest house the night before the appointment and what a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful night that was. To have them close with us, to have dinner together, to play with toys...I relive that day over and over in my head even two months later. I was so exhausted...and so happy...

Our little 8 year old (S) bonded with Tayler and I watched brotherly love form before my very eyes.

I watched our little 3 year old (M) being stubborn, not wanting Mama to put him down, and shake his head when Papa tried to hold him! No! No, Papa!

I laugh when I remember how (M), napping in my arms in the embassy, peed all over my skirt!

I still weep when I remember (S) sobbing because he couldn't come with us when we finally had to leave...and I have struggled emotionally ever since.

But Daniel spoke words of wisdom to me, telling me I must pray to God for what His will is in the adoption, not what I want done on my time, in my way...a bit selfish, huh? Of course he is right, so I try to pray that God keeps me strong, teaches me all I need to know, prepares my heart perfectly for when the boys do finally come home. I know God will make this journey beautiful and good, with much celebration and joy in the end. I hold on to that, cling to it actually, when I cry and don't think I can bear it any longer. God is good, always. He proves it to me over and over again, even when the pain is deep, real and overwhelming...He reminds me Christ loved me enough to die for my adoption, I can persevere through ours...

But as for progress, things are advancing: Monday, Jan. 28th, the surviving birth parents have an appointment/interview that the orphanage directors have been preparing them for. At this appointment, they will relinquish their parental rights. Also, 2 of the 12 families that were grandfathered into the IBESR under the 'old' Haitian adoption laws, have exited and are awaiting court dates. This is exciting news! I pray and wait anxiously every day that we will get our call and exit information.

Many people have been praying for us and I want to thank you! We couldn't keep moving forward without those who support us either prayerfully and financially. You all know who you are and let me add, I LOVE YOU ALL! Keep praying for us, for strength and for Gods perfect will to be done.

Blessings and love from the village,
Terry