Thursday, January 19, 2012

A Village Facts and 'Heart' Update

So, the nitty gritty facts of our progress as is follows:

*We have put in for our passports. (we were waiting on a currently issued drivers license) They should be arriving in approximately 4 to 6 weeks.

*I have handed out 3 templates for reference letters, 1 coming from Pastor Cory, 1 from Matt and Carrie and 1 from a teacher (Lori McCarty, teacher and my good friend) who taught one of our kids since they are school aged and Haiti requires that of parents with school aged children.

*Typed up my verification of employment letter from the school.

*Talked to the bank about getting a letter and statements notarized same day (this will will be acquired tomorrow.)

*Contacted a Homestudy agency (a couple times and hope they will soon respond! I would like this to be done by the end of February!)

And I could go on and on and on with the little for the 'heart' update.

The 'heart' update is really about where we, as a couple, are at in this whole journey. And I'm learning that this consists of the way that I deal and see our adoption process versus how Daniel deals and sees our adoption process.

Make no mistake, both of us are 100% committed to bringing this little boy home, but as a friend so accurately explained to me during a vent session...I am a 'pregnant', expecting mother. My 'nesting' instinct is in full swing...Daniel (obviously since he's male) doesn't have that same instinct. (I think this may come from the fact that I believe I have what I like to refer to as a 'mother's' heart for orphans and kids in need. I have to remind myself ((and often bite my tongue)) that not all peoples of this world have this heart.)

As my friend so kindly reminded me, for a dad, sometimes the 'reality' of their fatherhood comes when the child physically enters the world. Our Oscar has not 'physically' entered Daniels world yet. This will come, as Daniel's pointed out to me, when we have a referral and a face to put with our "Oscar." Then he will 'allow' himself to get attached to the child...But as we continue to process paperwork, answer questions, decide what the next, best step to take is, it is still not quite as 'real' to him as it is for me. He no less loves his son in Haiti, he's just processing it, allowing it to affect him, in a different way than I am.

So, again as my friend pointed out, since he is and does deal with the coming of our child in his own way, I must give my husband the grace and the love he deserves to deal and grow as a soon to be father (again!) (thank you Lori for your immense wisdom!)

As a believer in the power of prayer, I pray often for Daniel to finally 'get' me. To get why I talk about the adoption, talk about orphans, talk about Haiti and all the cultural info tidbits I learn...why I talk so much about Oscar...I pray God will use our trip to Haiti to help reveal some of these things to him and I invite our followers and readers of this blog to pray along with me. I also ask for prayer for more grace for myself. To be patient with him when I don't think he's 'quite where he needs to be!' God will bring Daniel to it. I don't remember the last time the LORD has ever needed my help in any situation!

Also, a hearty thanks to those who read and keep abreast of how things are going. This blog has not only been a great way to keep friends and family updated, but a way to help the Lacey's emotionally process this journey.

God Bless,